Weird title. I know.
I try not to say a lot personal stuff on the www, but sometimes you just gotta let it out. I am someone who can be herself anywhere, everywhere. I am someone who doesn’t really lose a lot of sleep over what people will think. Like they type of woman who will do what she wants as long as she feels strongly about it.
I’m the type of person who would speak up in a group if she disagrees about something. Never really cared about ‘what people will say and think’. And believe me, they say and think all sorts of stuff about me. Sometimes to my face. And yet I continue to be me, ruffled only temporarily by a world full of people who judge not just me, but all who dare to be different, dare to be themselves in world governed by what society thinks, and by enforced conformity.
I don’t mean to say that one should simply reject everything society says, rather I mean that one should have the guts to follow one’s own thought, and believe in it — even if people think it’s crap.
Yet, lately I’ve been wondering – is it okay to be yourself in front of people? Is it okay to be someone who is straightforward and honest? Or do people judge you just too damn much and too soon?
Please share your thoughts. I’d love to know what you think.
Are we better off conforming to the ways of the world? Or better off being ourselves?
Pic detail: Traditional Pakistani shoes ‘Khussa’.
It is O.K. to be all 3 options…after all most folk are so busy being what they think they should be, to even give anyone else a second thought. As they say ‘everyone is unique’
Thank you for that bit of sanity David. I agree.
You are a woman how can you write out all this, you are supposed to blend into whatever everyone tells you and you are not suppose to use your mind, is this what they teach in pakistan? Rebellion?
Yes, Pakistani women are strong and very capable of rebelling against something that’s not right. And they can stand up for what they believe in, Ms. Patterson.
I’m just not the blending type, y’know?
Tsk tsk, stop all this modern drama go get yourself a belen and make some rotis!
Oh sure, I loove making rotis. In fact my better half is nuts about the rotis I make!
However, that does not make me weak. That just makes me an awesome home-maker who cares about the family. More power to Pakistani women! hehe
Are we still talking about rotis here?
No, it’s Pakistani women actually. Before you brought up the rotis. lol
I care about the rotis, who cares about the women?
Then you should really get yourself some Pakistani melt-in-the-mouth chapattis. Hehe
nahh I like mine drenched in asli ghee on both sides in a almond colored roast which by the way nobody can make other than my mum.
the wuestion is not, whether it is ok to be you, but whether you want to be all that you are not? I hope the anser is no, because if you try to do that, you will not be yourself and will be pretty sad. we don’t want that do we?
Thanks SaFire, that was a great answer. Point noted.
glad i was able to help.
@Ashley: That is not what they teach in Pakistan. Not anymore.
I think it is very much OKAY to be YOU..even if its going to contradict what others think..I say this quite simply because, I follow the same rules of opening up and speaking out even if I don’t have much admirers in the crowd, or could you say, in the society . Personally, in my opinion, its okay to respect what others think but there is no need to blend in, coz you are special as YOU!
Having said that, when I do end up making some “unconventional” decisions or when I speak differently from others, people do mistake my assertiveness to mean arrogance sometimes, and then I’ve heard ppl say that i speak this way because that’s the attitude of youth these days anyway..lol..but then, well..as they say with anything..intentions matters…and as long we don’t speak or do stuff which are anti-Islamic, then to hell with what ppl say or think about, coz honestly, even if one ends up blending in with others, ppl will always have *stuff* to say..
On the other hand, its amazing to carve out your own principles and stick to it even its against the tide, as long as what we believe is the TRUTH, coz no matter who thinks or says what, honesty WINS.
So, its very much okay to be YOU Mehmudah, and I’m glad I’ve found someone in blogosphere who thinks pretty much on the same terms as I do.
Sorry for the essay type comment, couldn’t help! lol
Nasmira jazakAllah u khayr for that wonderful thought provoking comment!
I’m most certainly glad to meet you too. I think people who blog/write are usually the type who need to speak out (I know I am).
I agree with you and your words encourage me to be as I am as long i dont displease my Lord. People can do whatever they please. Yay
alhamdulillah that you found it helpful..
I’ve learnt that ppl will criticize you even if you are an angel, forget about being a super cute person running around! People criticize our Creator too, don’t they?! The One who provides day in and day out. Then, criticizing us is effortless for them!
Ultimately its between us and Our Lord, it was never between us and the people anyway.
Absolutely! Well put!
This is a hard question for me to answer because on one hand I’d yes, you should definitely be who you are because our diversity is what advances society/humanity in many ways, yet on the same token, society/humanity is only receptive to certain diversity; not all “true selves” are welcome. So I guess the answer lies somewhere in between that.
Also, is this all much easier said than done especially if you’ve been conditioned to conform to your society/culture your whole life and then reach a point when you need to break out of that mold. I think it’s difficult to do that regardless of the type of person you are. But hey! that’s why one vents on a blog! ;P
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Amira. As usual they’re worth contemplating upon.
Society does not welcome anyone who doesn’t conform. I know this because I find it virtually impossible to stick to the norms. Always have been and maybe will always be the odd one out with the rebellious streak. Perhaps that’s the only way I know. The journey to these answers continues.
As with everything, “the answer lies somewhere in between” – the key is balance. Sometimes, maybe most times, it is best to be yourself even if you stick out like a sore thumb. Other times, it might be better not to stick out so sorely
This is all external, of course; what really matters is that you are not conflicted within yourself, no matter what is going on ‘outside’. lv
Thanks Lyann that’s such a well thought out comment and very true as well!
I do agree!
It’s OK to be yourself… after all, who else would you be? And life is too short not to live it as ourselves.
Thank you! well said.
Of course it’s OK to be yourself, you can’t be anyone else can you? Love the shoes photograph BTW!
Just to also let you know that my blog address as changed and in changing it, I lost all my likes, followers & stats, what a pain!! I would be grateful if you could find the time to re-like at least a few posts that you’ve liked before and even more grateful if you would follow me again
New blog address is: http://cabodegataphotography.wordpress.com – it’s still the same monkey behind the wheel though! xx
Thanks Martyn for the comment!
Sure I am visiting your blog just now and will subscribe again!
If you can’t be yourself, who can you be?
A phony? Except I don’t know how… lol
I think the best person to be is to be yourself.
I agree. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
You must be you, because there is no one else in the world like you.
Thank you very much for visiting my blog today, and for liking my cupcake recipe enough to say so.
Best wishes,
Marci
Marci, thanks very much for visiting and leaving a comment.
I like what you say!
Being yourself is ok as long as you still know who that is. Problem is sometimes a picture of what’s depicted by society or even the press is used as a template to decide who the person is. Someone who does that will continue to have a skewed perception of who they are. They may never find themselves.
That is a very unique (but very valid) take on the matter! One has to find oneself before one can be oneself. Well-said!
asalaam o alaikum!
Be yourself! guided by your inner light of emaan and the etiquette of our Rasool (pbuh) and you will never offend any except those who have a strong arrogant Nafs and even they will respect you (secretly)
Wow, thanks for an answer full of eman and good sense! Jazak Allahu Khayr!!
All of the above.
People are far to judgemental, and too hypocritical about it at that. I’m not highly conforming but there are certain social mores and family traditions that I still yield to for the sake of survival, and in some cases advancement.
Finding balance in this aspect of life is not easy. Countless religious, psychology, sociology and political discussions and treatise have been executed because of the challenge. The difficulty is as old as the struggle of the common person to be able to always successfully discern the difference between right and wrong; good and evil. The former even goes hand-in-hand with the latter.
Much of it is hit-and-miss. Do the best you can. When you screw up, the rest of us will be there to let you know it on no uncertain terms. When I screw up, I’m confidant that you and the rest of the world will get in my face about it. Hopefully, most of us will screw up without doing too much irreperable harm to ourselves and each other. Hopefully, when we do things right, we’ll remember to show our approval to each other’s graces; not just focus on our faults so that we can criticize.
I guess that’s all I have to offer on that.
That is the most practical and real response! Thank you!