What this blog means to me…

Reflections … about the blog

 

This blog knows me better than most people do. If WordPress were a person, it would know yours`truly very well — the person I try my best to keep shrouded from the prying eyes of the world.

There have been times when I have written blog posts teary-eyed, times when I have been intensely involved with producing ‘the right picture’, days when I write it all out, only to save it (and later delete) in the drafts section. Days when I feel like the blog embodies everything that matters to me, days when I feel like it’s all been a failure.

This blog shared the moments of unbearable pain and unbelievable ecstasy, knew of the thoughts that occupied my mind as I couldn’t sleep. And you know one of the reasons why this blog is so important to me? Because of YOU.

Yeah, you. You who read the blog, liked it, shared it, appreciated it. You guys, who came from 147 countries in the world and made it all seem worthwhile. So thanks, from the bottom of my heart. 2012 has been better stats-wise than the last, but hopefully the blog and I can grow together some more. In Shaa Allah.

Oh and lastly… Some things that happened in the recent past have made me very aware of what I write up here. Have some of you (older followers) noticed that I no longer pour my heart out here as I used to? Perhaps the personality that this site had in the early days, when every hit had me reeling with excitement (lol!) is no longer there. I hope to inject that personality back somehow… yet I have now learnt, it probably isn’t the best idea to open up so much without a pseudonym; it can make one very vulnerable.

Wishing you all the best for 2013,

 

Mehmudah

 

FAQ’s and a poem for Mom

Why am I not blogging anymore?

I’ve been too caught up with life. Both physically and emotionally too drained out to do more.

Is this blog dying?

No, but unfortunately it appears to be in a coma.

Have I stopped photography?

No but I’m too knackered to post the pics up here.

Why don’t I visit your blogs anymore?

Time. And I do. Honest. Just not as much as before.

Do I intend take up blogging seriously again?

Oh yes. Just don’t know when. I miss it immensely.

Do I value your likes, emails, comments, and visits?

Oh yeah!!!! Like anything. Thanks so much for all the love! It makes me smile.

Have I died?

Err, not yet. Thankfully.

So that just about wraps it up. And a little poem to Mom before I leave…

To Mom…

You left us too soon, and too suddenly,

Sometimes I wonder if you’re really still there,

You with your winning smile and lovely hair,

You with your gentle ways and unmatchable sincerity,

You with your culinary talents and all round dexterity,

You with a voice that could do away with a thousand fears,

You with a hug that could wipe away my tears,

You with your carefully thought out advice,

You with your loving chiding were eternally nice,

You with that special fragrance that was exclusively yours,

You with your chadar on casually as you did the chores,

You’re missed Mom, more than you know,

Your absence makes the fondness grow,

Your departure has left a void that can never be fulfilled,

There’s always something missing even when I’m thrilled,

And in times of pain and frustration and when nothing makes sense,

I long for your sensible words that would help me cleanse,

I search Mom, and I search but I can’t hold on to you,

A fleeting image of your sparkling smile that’s all I have of you.

If you know I’m writing this, I just want to say thank you very much,

And that I dearly miss your presence and your loving touch.

You went away too soon, I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye,

All I have in remembrance of you is this tear from my eye.

YOUR advice wanted: When blogging becomes a boundary

 

 

When I started this blog, I felt so incredibly refreshed, and so free. I could say what I wanted, when I wanted , how I wanted. I could be mean, I could be nice and I could be just plain crazy. I didn’t care who was reading, I didn’t know where my hits were coming from. I was enjoying myself.

Then the blog began to get noticed. Through posts for other blogs which linked to mine, through Facebook friends who wondered where I’d disappeared to and googled me, through readers who (gladly) kept returning to read or view what I had spewed out, through people who had (presumably) read an article or something and decided to google me.

People I generally avoid learnt about my space online and began to keep tabs on me through my blog! Suddenly I started feeling bogged down. From blunt and open work, I sort of went into my own shell – posting a few pictures here and there, rarely sharing their location and the issues I REALLY wanted to blog about did not dare to make their way on to the www.

The incorrigible woman who could say ANYTHING online became a meek blogger out to please the masses. Someone who couldn’t write how she was feeling because of ‘who might read what’ and had to paint a picture on Photoshop instead to portray her feelings in a concealed manner. But all the while I was gaining new followers, better stats and more comments. Why complain?

So friends, is this what blogging is all about? What do you suggest – should I move to a new (perhaps anonymous) blog? Should I stick with this, and continue with what I’m doing? 

Or should I break free?

Advice appreciated!

Top ten reasons I blog

Image via http://afghanpenlog-en.blogspot.com/

 

I’ve noticed I blog more when I’m tired or stressed or both. And especially when I have a deadline looking at me square in the eyes, which, as it so happens, is just around the corner. It’s almost as though my creative juices begin to flow in a desperate attempt to keep me off the work at hand!? Go figure. Anyhow! Here are the main reasons why this blog exists and gets updated.

 

• It’s like a part of ME. I can discuss what I want, when I want, how I want! I am not invading anyone’s personal space and I get to say something that I feel I need to let the world know.

•  Helps me run away from it all. Sometimes you just want to retreat in your little corner. That’s what the blogosphere is to me. A retreat where real life seems far away and I happily ‘like’ and comment on other blogs and welcome people on mine.

•  It’s not snoopy/nosy like Facebook, and not addictive like Twitter.

•  I get to chronicle my published articles in a cool systematic way, and feel like less of a fool.

•  I get to learn photography, from the work of some talented shutterbugs and I get to display my own efforts on the same.

•  People who hate me can’t admit they’ve read/seen/regularly browse my blog, so that means I can be nasty about them whenever I want. Except I’m not. Whew!

•  No editorial boundaries!!! I’m the boss! ‘Nuff said!

•  Get to meet some wonderful people. Made some friends too!

•  Taking photos, editing them and even making pictorials is kinda cathartic. Only wish I had more time.

• Sometimes, I make a positive difference in people’s lives, and invariably, in my own.

 

So there’s my list. Share your own reasons for blogging in the comments!

Award and stuff

So yeah, a very cool fellow blogger Amira, who blogs at An Amiracan Story has linked me to the Kreativ Blogger award! Here’s shouting out a big thanks to Amira, and as a result of that, I have to tell you some more stuff about me…

Here goes….

Name your favorite song: Well, I listen to a lot of music without instruments… Ahmed Bukhatir’s voice is amazing and I love most of his nasheeds.

Name your favorite dessert: Dark, creamy, bittersweet tiramisu. *drool*

What pisses you off?: When my younger daughter refuses to eat, which is like, umm, everyday.

When you’re upset, you: Want to fly. Instead I write, or sometimes just have a quiet cry… And eat dark chocolate!

Your favorite pet: I’m not too good with animals unfortunately. I’d like to have to have pet white tiger though.

Black or White? Both actually. Black is mysterious and sexy, white is pure and sublime.

Your biggest fear: Umm.. let’s not go there?

Best Feature: Nothing really.

Everyday Attitude: Live life the way you want to, not how others want!

What is perfection?: Prophet Muhammed (Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam). Perfection personnified!

Guilty Pleasure: Mint Chocolate Bomb from Gloria Jeans, with extra mint and some coffee, and less chocolate (so less sugar). Lots more stuff I can’t talk about.

Random Facts

1.  I think Harry Potter is a cool series of books. Twilight, not so.
2.  I can read books through the night.
3. I have cleared all available levels of Angry Birds (I know what you’re thinking – how much time do I have? Did it while I was sick and only on the bed!)
4. I could really use massive improvements as a mom and as a person. 

 

Oh and I’m passing on this award to some lovely ladies here:

Nadia @ NadiaMasood.com

Misha @ Diaryofamuslimgirl.com

Shireen @ theonewhoneedsreminders.blogspot.com

Ugly Worn-out Shoelace @ pistaye.wordpress.com

Marya @ WritingHappiness.com