The Spirit of Ramadan

 

A collage of some images in my gallery

Published today in Gulf News: http://gulfnews.com/opinions/offthecuff/the-spirit-of-ramadan-1.1058147

I can’t believe that we are halfway through Ramadan. Before the month of fasting began, I have to admit that I was a bit worried — what with the searing heat of Dubai and no food or drink for 15 hours! Then Ramadan began, and I was surprised when things began to feel relatively comfortable after the first few days.

As time passes it gets easier to ignore that big bottle of cold water every time you open the fridge, and it becomes less agonising to feed your little ones, who insist on eating chilled mangoes every few hours.

One thing, however, still remains difficult. Fasting was prescribed on us so that we may become better people, so that we become God-fearing individuals who improve upon their personalities in an important and spiritual way. Yes, our tummies are supposed to get a break too — but most of us tend to over-compensate at iftar when we come face to face with deep-fried golden brown samosas and their co-conspirators. However, the part about achieving a better spiritual state is the most challenging.

We abstain from giving in to our physical desires yet our hearts are just as burdened with ill-feeling as they were before. We still remember that high-school grudge, the friend who wronged or embarrassed us and the co-worker who always takes all the credit in front of the boss.

Dealing with envy

We all but seethe at the mention of certain specimens of mankind and yes — we eye yet others with that very debilitating thing called envy. Our hearts are still mired deep in resentment and we hold on to the mistakes of others and vow never to forgive them or forget what they did to us. We act as vitriol for own ill-feeling, and whether or not we consume food hardly matters.

When we introspect, we refuse to forgive our own selves too. Our hearts are hard, not just for the world but for our own selves. The bitterness overwhelms any positivity that the holy month brings — simply because we have become too accustomed to living life with a lot of unnecessary baggage.

As this month draws towards its end I hope to shed all that excess baggage, once and for all. I am not only referring to the excesses that reside peacefully around the waistline (someone hide the samosas at iftar!) but also to all the negativity that has all but become a part of me.

I want to let go of all those unpleasant memories that I subconsciously kindle inside my heart. It is to let go of that burning feeling of revenge I get every time I think of certain things — to forget about what so-and-so said behind my back or how I felt when such-and-such thing happened. Clean slate. I mean it.

In many ways this month is a celebration for Muslims around the world because the Quran was first revealed in this month. And what better way to celebrate than bring about a significant and much-needed positive change within my own mental make-up?

I already feel a lot lighter, and this has nothing to do with the bathroom scales which, it has to be said, remain as obstinate as ever.

Ramadan Reflections

Parched lips. Throat dry as a bone. I felt dizzy, proverbially dizzy, almost like Tom in ‘Tom and Jerry’ with the stars and birds circling around his head when Jerry had somehow managed to knock him out (yet again). I felt knocked out too. It had been nearly twelve hours since I had consumed anything and my head felt woozy for want of a big, refreshing mug of tea – right after a bottle of chilled water. All I thought about was food. Sigh.

I made a lazy, half-hearted attempt to pray the next salah, yawning through the raka’as. And then the laptop caught my eye!

Would a little bit of Friends hurt? And oh – did I remember the next episode of the serial I was watching would now be on YouTube? Fatigue? Who remembers fatigue when some fictional characters can make you laugh and smile? Fifteen minutes later, I am giggling like Phoebe. But just an hour later I feel like the biggest moron in existence. Can you relate? Read on.

So I just wasted a precious hour of Ramadan, of fasting in front of the TV/Internet. I might as well eat and drink. What just happened in this one hour? I lost the special relationship I had cultivated with Allah over the last few weeks, my eyes committed the act of looking at non-mahrams, I laughed at jokes that were less-than-respectable, and I angered Allah – all of that whilst fasting. And I used precious time which could just as easily have been utilized for worship.

My heart feels like a deep hollow and as I look at my face in the mirror, I realize that just an hour or so ago, it had been glowing, but not anymore. I look at my hijab hanging on the cupboard and feel like a real hypocrite. Here I am curbing my physical needs from dawn to dusk – only to indulge in sin? I’m sure Satan has a fun time with me outside of Ramadan – because it looks as though I don’t really need him to goof up! The stuff I do with him locked up would doubtless encourage him.

Actually this Ramadan is so precious, so important, and a blessed guest who comes and goes far too quickly. Allah gave us a whole thirty days to get forgiven, to find peace and success in Dunya and Akhirah. Like the desert sand slips away so noiselessly from a closed fist, so does Ramadan slip away. Before we know it, two weeks are gone, and we’re still covered in sin. More sins in fact, than when we started off. God, what a sorry fate for me if I can’t grab this golden opportunity with both hands and somehow get myself in Allah’ good books, once and for all.

If only I hadn’t wasted time watching something as silly and useless (in fact harmful) as the stupid TV show. I could just as easily have clicked on the beautiful recitations of the wonderful imams or I might have listened to some cool Islamic lectures. Like this one which I would strongly recommend to anyone who feels they’re wasting their time in Ramadan:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_1DQzh3GDY

So this Ramadan, dear sisters and brothers I just want to stop wasting my time. No matter how hungry and tired (or dizzy for that matter!) I am, I will not while away valuable moments in front of the idiot box or the Internet. I could just take a short nap if I think I need a break. Or some mild stretching and yoga might even be good.

I think the TV guys are in tune with so many of us who plonk ourselves on the couch in the hope that the strenuous day passes quickly. So many channels now have ‘special Ramadan transmissions’ – a lot of which includes more movies and soaps than usual. Also, so many of us log on to Twitter and Facebook and before we know it an hour has passed and we’ve just been checking out a whole lot of random profiles and pictures and ‘liking’ useless stuff, all the while concerning ourselves with other people’s affairs! Not exactly wise, is it? Allahu Akbar! Let’s stay away from it all and make this Ramadan REALLY count! ‘Cause you know that hadith right where Angel Jibrael (Alayhis Salam) cursed certain people?

A part of it here:

Prophet Muhammed (Sall Allahu Alayhi wa Sallam) said: When I climbed the first step, the angel Jibraeel (A.S.) appeared before me and said

“Destruction to him who found the blessed month of Ramdhan and let it pass by without gaining forgiveness”

upon that I said ‘Aameen’. 

(Hakim, Baihaqi)