Man, it’s been a while. I know Instagram is apparently the best blogging software out there, (and I’ve been thinking about it) but for me, nothing at all beats the comfort and the catharsis of writing on my own blog. A proper webpage. Yeah, I’m pretty old school. Which brings me to the topic at hand today – me.
So this is a post where I do some self-reflection on who I am and some things that I’ve figured out about myself. Why should you read this? Honestly, you shouldn’t. Hahahah. Okay, scratch that, this read will help you think about who you are and why and what are some of the things you’ve figured out about yourself. And why is knowing oneself so important? Anyone care to share in the comments?
Okay, here goes.
- I’m still a work in progress and will always be.
Sometimes I used to think – one day, I will become wiser, smarter, thinner and so on. The truth is I’m still working towards becoming all that. There are days when I feel I got a little bit wiser and stronger than I was yesterday but the journey to self development never ends. There will always be more rungs on the ladder left to tackle. The struggle is never over, until we make it in the next life. And you know what? This half-baked, work-in-progress kinda Mehmudah, I like her. Unabashedly, unashamedly.
- I’m deeply introverted
Except for the ones that truly know me, this may come as a bit of a surprise. I’m a loner at heart and I love ‘me time’, where I just sit/walk and think and write. Many times, I keep my phone far away and miss important calls and messages because ‘I’m done’. Sometimes, company tires me out and I’d rather hide in my little corner. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to keep up basic conversations and reply to phone calls and messages. At the same time, I love people. I love listening to people, talking and laughing and asking millions of questions. Isn’t it the contrast within ourselves that makes us beautiful?
- I can be emotional but I’d rather be logical
I take things to heart and sometimes, I’m not as objective and logical as I would like to be. I think practice makes perfect. I can work on being a little less emotional and a little more logical. I really do value people who are kind and give good advice.
- I can’t – or won’t – do fiction
There was a time when I devoured fiction – I read anything and everything I could get my hands on, and I read non-stop. I just mentioned I’m an emotional person and I would get deeply invested in the stories of the characters. The better the quality of the writing, the bigger mess I became, because, obviously, good books make you cry, laugh and worry. As a result I’d have to finish the book immediately to know if the hero was going to be okay in the end so I could relax. That’s why I would become a ball of nerves until the story ended and I would read fat books in a matter of hours. I decided it was taking a toll on me (on my eyes too) and I was no longer going to feel terrible about what happened in a book. Therefore, I don’t do fiction. I do read self-help books, audiobooks and podcasts and book summaries too. I also love reading good humorous pieces and lots of high quality articles.
- If I call you mine, I mean it
I guess most people are like that. I’m fiercely loyal and I will defend my tribe as best as I can. If I love someone, then that’s it.
- I dislike shopping
Anxiety, stress, waste of time, waste of money is ambling around aimlessly in the shops. If I have a clear list in my hand or even in my mind I don’t hate it so much. I think shopping makes one feel a massive sense of FOMO. I love those days where I pop into a mall, go to the exact place I need to go, pick up what I need and get out of there. I don’t feel at home in malls, I’m always on tenterhooks wondering how soon I can leave. Sometimes, I think I’m done with everything and on my way to the exit I’ll spot something that we need and I’ll roll my eyes and go like “Oh my God not again I don’t want to hit the shops again!” That kind of thing. However, I don’t mind shopping for presents too much, particularly if I know what I’m looking for. Also if I’m buying a gift for someone I truly like, then it’s doable.
- I hate conflict and uncomfortable situations
Enough said. I don’t like conflict but if the situation demands I may give someone a piece of my mind. I mostly avoid such scenarios. Chances are, if someone annoys me and I can avoid them, I will.
- I love beautiful early mornings
I live for winter mornings. Outside of winter too, early mornings are my thing. There’s an insane amount of barakah in the early hours, you get so much done. Great time for meditation, thinking, praying, recitation and exercise. And a yummy breakfast! I love breakfasts! I wish I could bake my own sourdough bread but my starter just doesn’t seem to get going, sadly.
- I’m pretty boring
Simple, boring person who (mostly) doesn’t enjoy gossip. I don’t listen to music (or at least try not to) and I don’t watch movies. I will sometimes watch a TV series if it’s highly recommended. The Sherlock Granada series has been a long standing favorite.
- I’m a complete nerd
I just adore learning new stuff and old stuff, teaching it and learning some more. New ideas, discovering old truths and exploring and debunking pre-conceived notions and so much more. Oh God yes I love being a nerd. I also love doing assignments (not my children’s projects though) and I love making my work look beautiful.
- I’m a junkie
Please refer to my numerous chai blogs for this one 🙂 I’ve recently discovered Yerba Mate tea and I love it!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a wrap. Obviously, there are many more things about me that I know. They might even be more important than the stuff mentioned here. But some aren’t the most positive and it’s better for me to quietly work on them instead of announcing them, and some are not blog worthy. In any case hope you enjoyed this and let me know some of the things you’ve figured out about yourself, too!
‘Til next time – enjoy the winter.