The rays of the morning sun stream in from the window and the glare gets in my eyes from the gap between the curtains as I wake up to a typically sunny Dubai morning. The first thing I do after waking up is look at the time. “Thank God I’ve woken just in time for her school,” I think to myself and begin my day by preparing my daughter for a day at school.
As my day progresses, I always find myself surprised when I look at the clock. Before I know it, it’s time for her to return home and I suddenly realize that half the day has already passed, and will never come back again. Of course, there will be tomorrow and then the day after and the one after, all succeeding each other with relentless monotony, I think to myself. Then I realize we know nothing – for what if there’s no tomorrow? And if there is, will it too, pass by with such a frantic pace? Who can know for sure?
I look back at my life and remember how engrossed I was in my school days, and thought they would go on forever. They didn’t. Time passed with mercurial speed and I grew up to have my own children. I remember the little infant who discovered the world from my shoulder and I remember how she would fit in her little bath-tub. Without me, or anyone noticing, she’s turned into a school-going girl. It’s time I took notice, for life is passing away silently, and minute by minute, I’m losing from the moments allotted to me in this world.
Sometimes I wonder why there isn’t a strange urgency to everything I do, for it could well be the last time I did it. Memories are being formed as I speak, the story of my days is being written, and life is progressing in a way similar to that of the globe – you never notice it moving.
I remember reading Audrey Niffenegger’s book ‘The Time Traveller’s Wife’ a while back and the idea of time-travel wowed me completely. Likewise, Hermione’s time-turner in the Harry Potter series, if only real, could have opened up a world of timeless (excuse the pun) possibilities. Yet, I believe there’s got to be a reason why we can’t time travel, to undo past mistakes and meet the loved ones who have moved on. Wouldn’t that eradicate the very purpose of our being? After all, we were not created in such perfection, such magnificence and such precision in vain. Life is a bit like sitting a final exam – everything we do has an eerie sense of finality, if only we perceive. We can never ever take back an uttered word (God knows I would have taken back at least a million) and we can’t reverse any moment that has already passed. Each breath we take is a blessing, each second that passes by is a gift from the Almighty, for one never knows when time will run out, like the flickering of a screen into nothingness when the movie ends.
Recent events have taken their toll and have somehow brought my life, and its inevitable end, into a strange new perspective. Will I be ready when it’s time to leave? Or have I already wasted too much time? Only time will tell.