Note: Wrote this a while back, somehow it just got ignored.
Sometimes I like constructing unusual sentences, and I try to use the finest words I can possibly find. At other times though, I feel the need to use the simplest of words to convey the strongest of messages. So here goes: Life is tough.
It’s an obvious thing, isn’t it? But I write it so because with every problem that comes my way, I worry as though the entire world is collapsing, as if life being tough is something out of the ordinary. I worry like a professional worrier – it’s almost as though someone were paying me for worrying by the hour. (The current state of my bank account reflects that worrying does not pay very well, sadly).
To begin my day, I worry we’ll all get late and no one will reach school, college or work on time. Then I fret because the younger one refuses to swallow a bite of her egg or wear the clothes I selected for her. Then we finally leave and as I sit in the car and drive myself to class, worry envelops me again. And this time it’s diverse worry – apparently I excel in all kinds!
I worry about the little disagreement he and I had in the morning, I worry if the kids are safe and having a good time. I worry about my incomplete assignment and I worry about the family abroad and about the friend whose husband passed away. And then when I get to class, I let the wisdom and knowledge imparted take me away just for a little while. For a few precious hours I try to ignore the million little things on my mind and just learn; absorb. Sometimes a phone call or a text puts me in the zone again and in any case, it’s whilst driving back that I think about problems most easily. Indeed, I have been known to burst into tears at the steering wheel and still manage to ferry everyone across safely.
I’ll spare you the tedious details of my worrying from hereon, because I suppose you get a fair idea that I worry a lot. I haven’t written this down for anything except serious chiding to my own self. Yes, everyone has issues. I do and I’m sure you do. In fact, if I ask you to name one thing that’s troubling you right now, you’d be hard pressed to name just one! But does that mean we constantly fret and are forever anxious?
It’s a given that things won’t always be pleasant. As everyday passes, we get older and sometimes we get sick and we get the odd white hair and someday we’ll have a full head of snow white hair, and people will hurt us, judge us in the worst way possible, loved ones will die and there Will. Be. Problems. So?
Is that something so unique or unwarranted? We constantly fear the future and bemoan the past. And the present slides by all too quickly. My children grow up in front of my eyes and I refuse to enjoy their childhood, their innocent little words, and their unconditional love, their sloppy kisses and their middle of the night hugs. All I worry about is that their room is a mess, that they’re not dressed right and of course, that they haven’t eaten their perfect balanced diet and that they’re not doing well enough at school.
I worry about assignments and I overlook the fact that I am doing something as important as learning? I crib about everything and forget to enjoy the company of the beautiful people God placed in my life? Why? I treat chores at home as though they were designed to exhaust – nay annihilate me, ignoring the fact I am making a difference in the lives of those that I care about?
Like I said, worrying doesn’t pay (well or otherwise) at all. I don’t know about you, but I seriously need to take a breather from the manic pace of life, just sit still, give thanks and smile from within, smell the forgotten roses and count my blessings.