Excuse the title, but I’m not here to mince words. Before you get started, know that this is a rant. I haven’t ranted on my blog for … it seems like ages! But there’s a lot I need to analyze right now in my mind. I need to ask a lot of questions – aloud, or with a digital pen, if you will.
Right, so, let’s get into this without further ado. As I see it, one of the most wonderful things that a person in life can have is good manners. It’s gentleness, it’s a good character. It’s knowing how not to hurt people, yet doing what you believe is right and it’s being confident, knowing how to carry yourself socially in an upright and yet non-offensive way.
I’ve always valued the nature of a person highly. I’m someone who hasn’t been known for her gentle speech, but I’ve always wanted to acquire it. In the same way, my social etiquette and dealing other people leaves so much to be desired yet, I do crave for that perfect mix of humility and confidence that pleases Allah, inspires people and keeps my feet firmly on the ground.
I love humble people. I like being with them, I like their mannerisms and I read that some of the greatest people in the world were humble. On the other hand, I do not feel comfortable around people who are too full of themselves, too sure, and too confident about their opinions. That’s when something called dignity and showing others respect takes the exit.
And I find that there are many people like that. You ask them something, or you get into a conversation and offer your own opinion, and then they turn into bitches. They suddenly attack you and diss you, and you wonder about social etiquette. Yes, you learn to shut up around those people and you almost never willingly meet them, but they get everything done.
It’s a survival of the fittest. These people think that they’ve finally learnt to deal with the world. They talk back at anyone – they tell off their family, and husbands, they’re short with the hired help and they act a bit too assured about everything they do. They get by, they get by swimmingly well.
They have the world in the palm of their hands. They get things done. No one argues with them, and everyone is off limits. Truth is, in a shallow worldly way, these people become successful in everything they do. They develop a skin as hard and thick as an elephants and they do not care about what you, or for that matter ANYONE might want to say. These people live on their own terms and they don’t care if they destroy friendships, hurt people, and they don’t care about how they make others feel.
See, the weird thing is, that this crazy strategy works, at least in their opinion. They’re finally happy. They don’t give two hoots about anyone thinks. They think they’ve found strength.
And hey, I’m not voting for the doormat strategy, okay? Do not get me wrong! In life, you need to have a bit of a hard skin, you need to have a certain amount of self-belief in order to get by. And you need to get your point across too! But there’s a fine line between being confident and being plain obnoxious that needs to be determined and thereafter respected.
Humility is a great thing, and humble people have historically been loved and respected by people. I am in no way suggesting that one becomes a little too humble and loses one’s sense of self. It’s easy to be humble when I remember Allah, and His countless favours on me, and how it’s by His command that I work on this article, the fact that I see, that I breathe. I want to be a humble person because our beloved prophet Muhammed (May the peace, mercy and blessings of Allah be upon him) was a humble person, and he is the best, most perfect example for us to follow.
He accomplished the insurmountable task of transforming an aimless nation buried in ignorance into a one with a strong one with purpose and goodness, in a little over two decades. Allah gave him a divine message and divine help too. But Rasool Allah Sallallahu Alayhi wa Sallam remained humble. So who am I to get all big-headed?