Why the silent celebrity block is the best thing since sliced bread

Ohkaaaayyy peeps, I’m ready to articulate my thoughts on the blocking celebs deal. First of all, whoever came up with the idea thank you so much. You are an absolute star.

For the uninitiated, celebrities and influencers that refuse to speak up against Is-not-real’s massacre must not just be unfollowed, but blocked. This hurts their revenue and makes them think seriously about how they are using their platforms. It’s a small step, but at this point, something that we can collectively do to make a difference. Let us begin this piece with why following celebrities is so problematic to begin with.

Influencers and stars on social media peddle a certain kind of ideology, a certain lifestyle, and their goals seem seriously skewed at times. Once I caught myself swiping through a fashion influencers airbrushed reels with the most perfect cars, bags, dresses, hair and makeup and even though I could care less about the above, I found myself feeling a twinge of.. jealousy? No, it was more self-pity. Or wait, was it admiration? Was I suddenly looking up to this person because they had 192k likes or something? Long story short, I got off my insta binge feeling decidedly bad about my life and like I had just wasted a chunk of my very precious headspace and time. Ew.

It took me a few minutes to get out of that fancy shmancy Insta page, but because I’m a mature woman and I know better, alhamdulillah, Allah guided me away from it. Guess who is glued to these accounts? Guess who gets their morals, their values and their aspirations and their #goals from these accounts?

Yep. Our children!

How scary is that! A child that follows a person like Kim Kardashian or Shahrukh Khan isn’t simply following them. They’re painting themselves with a culture that aligns to the celebrities. The routines, the jokes, the clothes, the style, the recipes even – they stick. Make no mistake about it, social media feeds are raising this generation of children. Of course these people do not speak up against the barbarism, no way, it’s politically incorrect and they may lose the brand.

Maybe that’s why the Muslim world has largely behaved like boiled cabbage in the face of the brutal geno-cide. Maybe the sparkle of the celebrities has so numbed our minds that we believe getting a Coke or a Loreal brand ambassador contract is true success. Maybe we have forgotten to see the misery that lies beyond the pomp and glory of celebrities.

So yeah, I’m all for cancelling and blocking out celebrities! Historically, art, film and drama has had a huge impact on the culture of a people and this effect has only been magnified manifold through the advent of the nefarious social networks.

It seems like a God-send to help Muslims regain their lost culture and for our youth and adults to find themselves again, to pursue things of value and meaning. Not just the celebs, the so called mental health gurus that have harped on so much about ‘healing’ and ‘processing’, these very Twinkle Toes types refuse to acknowledge the pain of the Palystynians. They have blown away their own carefully stitched cover and the hypocrisy has been exposed. The white supremacist agenda can make anyone gag.

So cancel the people taking you away from the way of the Prophet (SAWS) and the righteous Caliphs and the Sahabas. This is another positive that has come through Is-not-real’s plundering of a sacred land – that we can finally follow people that matter.

Please follow people like Hiba Masood, Maryam Amir, Shaykha Haifaa Younis and not just influencers, but honest people with just a handful of followers on social media trying to do their best, producing meaningful content. Your follow would mean much more to them than it would to someone with millions of followers.

Yep, best thing since sliced bread, canceling the celebs. Notice how I mention bread, but not sourdough bread? (IYKYK) We just need another blog on that don’t we? ‘Til next time y’all.

X

Chai, (Ramadan) and I (Part 4 – The Chai Series)

Image for illustrative purposes only from the www.

Originally written for Gulf News: https://gulfnews.com/opinion/op-eds/from-chai-addiction-to-spiritual-freedom-in-ramadan-1.101950803

From chai addiction to spiritual freedom in Ramadan

Of course I am going to talk (yet again) about the beverage that makes me tick: chai. Or tea, if you prefer English. The groggy morning self longs for a cuppa as I saunter down the stairs and sit lazily on the couch trying to get myself together. The cat brushes past my ankles and I frown, annoyed as I cast a longing look towards the kitchen.

If I wasn’t fasting, I would boil water and loose black tea for a good 12 minutes or so. I would then add evaporated milk, boil it a bit more till the colour and aroma feels just right and so incredibly inviting. Then with a flourish, I would strain it into my beautiful blue and white mug. (Yes, the mug is new. And it’s beautiful, and he doesn’t know we have three of the same ones in case the kids or the dishwasher get overly excited and shatter the masterpiece). But I digress. After pouring it into the said mug, a sprinkle of saffron and I’m charged with a million batteries. Suddenly I am good-natured and humorous and I can come up with sixteen very creative ideas for my daughter’s science project. But not so today. Today I’m feeling strictly ‘meh’.

Ramadan, for me (especially it’s first few days) is always a bit tricky. Chai has a refreshing, energizing effect on me, as a result I avoid drinking it at Suhoor (pre-dawn meal). In any case, post suhoor, trying to sleep while the bathroom urges keep disturbing me, is already quite challenging and I imagine the diuretic effects of tea would only make it harder.

After breaking fast at iftar I avoid tea because I need to catch some winks in the night before it’s time to wake up for the pre-dawn meal. In essence, there is a sad separation between me and chai in Ramadan. It’s painful and the fondness of it is such that I am writing an entire blog on it.

The dreadful caffeine withdrawal lasts a week at best and after that I realize I can function without it. I can be fun and funny and I don’t have to blame caffeine for it, plus the jitters of an extra strong chai can be thankfully avoided. I also save myself some extra calories and nothing interferes with my sleep. It sounds impossible but my concentration levels and my ability to focus on one task with complete immersion has improved somewhat. Wait, am I seeing life outside of chai? Me, the addict – am I noticing that life might be good after all without my steaming cuppa of dopamine?

Perhaps this is an invitation to not just explore my caffeine addiction, but everything else that I think that I can’t do without. This is what Ramadan is really about, isn’t it? Breaking free of the chains we think bind us. Realizing that we can do without our much-loved beverages, the frequent meals, the extravagance in food and more importantly, we can do away with habits like gossip, backbiting and social media addictions.

As Ramadan hurtles along towards its end, I wonder if I have truly cleansed myself of the addictions that plague me. I wonder if I have learnt to be with myself, in silence and solitude and lived the true purpose of fasting – connecting to Him and being aware of His presence in my life. I wonder if I have let go of comparison and competition and just like the desire to drink tea is waning, are my worries and anxieties fading?

As I sign off, I remind myself that Ramadan must bring about a reset of the body and the soul and I hope to celebrate Eid with a lightness that is both physical and spiritual, more calm and contentment and umm.. I really wouldn’t mind a karak on the side. Just saying.

For the ones who would like to read the chai series:

Chai and I (Part 1) https://mehmudahrehman.wordpress.com/2012/05/06/chai-and-i/

Chai and I (Part 2) https://mehmudahrehman.wordpress.com/2021/02/12/chai-and-i-part-2/

Chai and I (Part 3) https://mehmudahrehman.wordpress.com/2021/02/19/chai-and-i-part-3-oh-mugs/

Read ’em all and tell me which one you like the most.

The guilt is overwhelming

Gaza, Palestine, ceasefire now, end the occupation, genocide in gaza,

The aroma of freshly baked sourdough bread wafts from the kitchen and the sunlight streams in the living room as my cat lazily sprawls across the floor. Upstairs, I can hear the girls laughing about something and just as suddenly my 2 yo begins to cry.

I walk over to her and tend to her brand new ‘wah-wah’ (an imaginary bug has bitten her) and as I’m kneeling down making sure she is okay, an image of a Palestinian child, all alone and gravely injured enters my mind. The helplessness, the pain, the dire situation. Whilst my heart is humble with gratitude, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt.

It has been nearly 120 days since the genocide began. How is it that the world is just watching as Gazans get killed, maimed and deprived of everything over and over again and the violence reaches new, dizzying heights? We were reading about Muslim reformers in the 18th century. Revolutions that overthrew oppressors happened just because some Muslim leaders with a conscience could not bear to see Muslims unable to practice their religion freely. Imagine, if those people were still alive, how would they have reacted to human beings being deprived of basic rights to food, shelter, clothing, family and LIFE itself? Why are we a people that cares far more about our own comfort and convenience?

Why are we slaves to the system? Why are we so mortally afraid of losing our privileges, wealth, status? Why do we measure our self-worth with how the West measures us? Are we here in this world forever? Why don’t we live for a purpose greater than ourselves?

We might miss the 9 o’clock soap or God forbid the sale on Zara. We must live our perfectly curated lives, complete with a fancy dinner on the weekend and a vacation later in the year. Feeling the pain of our brethren and doing something to alleviate it is too much work. It is neither quick nor convenient. And our pristine cars might get scratched if we drive into the rubble.

All these thoughts and more flood my mind as I absentmindedly prepare breakfast and wonder what Bisan might have had to eat today. I wonder about Mansour Shouman and his family, and I think about all those people that were abducted and no one knows or cares. I think about the mothers watching their children live with amputated limbs and wondering if death might have been better. I think about the little children that are being starved and frozen and I wonder what a terrible place this world has become because you and I, and those in power, lost all empathy, compassion and humanity.

My eyes begin to well up as we enjoy a delicious breakfast. The guilt is crushing. Perhaps a Salahuddin Al Ayyubi will rise from somewhere. Someday.

Sorry Palestine.

How one woman’s journey through cancer changed my life


Allah’s mercy is boundless, and it envelops everyone and it is only by His will and His mercy that I met Yasmeen. Yasmeen has inspired me ever since I met her, but it wasn’t until yesterday that I learned her story. I had the honor of attending Yasmeen’s talk about her experience with cancer, and it changed my perspective on so many things. With plenty of good-natured, self-deprecating humor, she eloquently conveyed potentially life-changing information, for which I am eternally grateful.

Yasmeen beat an extremely rare form of cancer through diet alone, without chemotherapy, radiation, or surgery. The most significant change she made was her diet. And get this: Her diet plan wasn’t overly complicated – it focused on cutting white sugar and carbs, and adding lots of great juices.

She holds a Doctorate in Economics from Johns Hopkins University, so for me to bring your attention to facts, figures, and peer-reviewed journals like she did in her talk yesterday is somewhat impossible, and I will not try. However, I will share some of my top takeaways from her talk in layman’s terms.

  1. Raw Vegan Diets DO Work (for a bit)
    Yasmeen went on a raw vegan diet right after her diagnosis. In a matter of 7 days, she saw a significant drop in her tumor. She stayed on it for about 10 days.
  2. If You Love Bread, Look Away
    Yasmeen’s focus was on adding foods that starve cancer and removing foods that feed cancer. Anything with sugar in it feeds cancer, and that holds true for bread too. Yasmeen cut almost all carbs and sugars and starved the cancer. However, she did switch to buckwheat, which helped.
  3. Contemplation on the Quran
    What was most significant for me throughout the talk was Yasmeen’s absolute reliance on Allah, and her attachment to Allah’s word. How she fell in love with Surah Baqarah, how Allah’s words comforted her throughout her ordeal. How she found the love and mercy of Ar-Rahman holding her, guiding her, and bringing her hope in the darkest of moments.
  4. Downplaying the Crisis in Your Head
    Throughout the extremely challenging experience of being diagnosed with – and then beating – cancer, Yasmeen did not become hopeless. As you would imagine, she had days that were particularly tough, especially if the reports did not look encouraging. There was a constant tussle between hope and fear, but she tried her best to value and seize the opportunities to enjoy life with her husband and kids. In her mind, cancer wasn’t a death sentence. She knew she could beat it. And she did.
  5. Fasting
    Yasmeen’s test results improved dramatically after the month of Ramadan. Cancer cells need 18 times the amount of sugar that normal cells do, so fasting in Ramadan, and even intermittent fasting, deprives the cells of sugar, thereby depriving them of fuel. Yes, fasting really DOES work!
  6. Sleep, Stress, and Cancer
    I learned about the connection between lack of sleep, stress, and cancer. Lack of sleep and the presence of stress can lead to a compromised immune system. The cells that the body is supposed to destroy? The body doesn’t register them as problematic, and they are allowed to thrive.
  7. Screens Before Bedtime Disturb Melatonin Production
    I believe many of us have heard about this, but do you know just how much viewing light before bedtime affects your chances of developing cancer? What I would really like to do is completely eliminate screens two hours before bedtime. Why am I not doing that? I’m hopelessly addicted. Also, the moment I ‘let go’ of the phone, I experience a deep sense of FOMO – gasp! What if I miss out on something important? Also, let’s be honest, I miss the dopamine of social media. I’m working on it!
  8. Deodorants Need to Be Natural
    The aluminum and all the chemicals that regular deodorants contain can be harmful, especially when applied to areas near the breasts or lymph nodes. Yasmeen switched to natural deodorants and saw a significant improvement in her health. We’re talking everyday stuff like baking soda, rock salt and even rubbing a slice of lemon! iHerb are now selling rock salt deos and I have heard very encouraging reviews.
  9. Nutrients are important
    Some researches say that cancer is more than anything, a nutrient deficiency. A diet rich in REAL FOOD and all kinds of fruits and vegetables in naturally healing and preventive. Juicing carrots is also extremely beneficial.
  10. Importance of a Support System
    Having a strong support system is crucial when battling cancer. Yasmeen was fortunate to have a loving family and supportive friends who stood by her throughout her journey. Their love and encouragement played a significant role in her recovery.

Yasmeen’s story is a testament to the power of faith, determination, and a positive mindset. Her journey through cancer not only changed her life but also profoundly impacted those around her, including me. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn from her experience and am inspired to make positive changes in my own life. Remember, it’s not just about surviving; it’s about thriving. Let’s take control of our health and live our best lives. After all, we only get one stint in the dunya and we have to make it count!

May Allah swt bless the gift that is Yasmeen, and may Allah keep her heart connected to Him and His book always and may she help all those around her to find ease and tranquility and the way to the ultimate success – His Jannah and His pleasure. Ameen.

Benefits of believing in the Hereafter

I was inspired by a recent lecture by Sheikh Yasir Qadhi called “Benefits of Believing in Life after Death” to write this post and decided to document my learning from it.

Here are the main benefits described in the lecture on YouTube (do check it out). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7OU1EQwofM&t=2168s

  1. Life attains meaning and purpose

    Our existence is not accidental and once we die, we will not perish, in fact, we must plan and prepare for the Hereafter. We understand the wisdom behind our creation and it imbibes us with meaning and purpose.

2. A sense of accountability helps you live a life of better quality

When we believe that we are accountable for everything we do, we will automatically try and uphold good character and practices. Belief in Akhirah brings about a reduction in all evils across society.

3. Brings optimism in difficult times

This is a world of pain, suffering and anxiety. There are tragedies all around us, from the Uighur Muslims to Kashmir to Burma and so many stories that we don’t even know. We realize that the suffering is temporary and in the next life there’s going to be something better. Anxiety, depression and suicide will all go up if there’s no belief in Akhirah.

4. Academic Article in the Journal of Nervous and Mental Diseases

A number of scientists, psychiatrists and sociologists studied the lives of over 1500 people in America and surveyed correlation between a belief in the hereafter and six key aspects: anxiety, depression, obsession compulsion, paranoia, phobia and somatization. The results confirmed the following: Belief in life after death was significantly associated with lower symptom levels on all six psychiatric symptom clusters.

5. Perfect Justice in the Next Life

In this world, innocent people do not receive complete justice. Belief in Yawm-al-Hisaab gives us peace in an unjust world. The tyrant that has mass murdered millions of people will only be killed once even if he is taken to account. In the Hereafter, justice will be truly served and we can look forward to ultimate closure.

6. When you don’t believe in Akhirah, you live in the rat race.

When you have no higher goal, your goal becomes the right here and now and you’re never happy with what you have because you always look at the bigger house or the bigger bank account or the more fame. When you believe in the Akhirah all of a sudden you realize – you know what this dunya is temporary anyway. What I have I have what I don’t have I don’t have and I have something to look forward to in the hereafter. A belief in the hereafter brings a sense of deep contentment.

Anas ibn Malik reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever is concerned about the Hereafter, Allah will place richness in his heart, bring his affairs together, and the world will inevitably come to him. Whoever is concerned about the world, Allah will place poverty between his eyes, disorder his affairs, and he will get nothing of the world but what is decreed for him.

Source: Sunan al-Tirmidhī 2465

Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مَنْ كَانَتْ الْآخِرَةُ هَمَّهُ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ غِنَاهُ فِي قَلْبِهِ وَجَمَعَ لَهُ شَمْلَهُ وَأَتَتْهُ الدُّنْيَا وَهِيَ رَاغِمَةٌ وَمَنْ كَانَتْ الدُّنْيَا هَمَّهُ جَعَلَ اللَّهُ فَقْرَهُ بَيْنَ عَيْنَيْهِ وَفَرَّقَ عَلَيْهِ شَمْلَهُ وَلَمْ يَأْتِهِ مِنْ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَا قُدِّرَ لَهُ

‘Processing’ the Darkness

The darkness around me was deep and hung over the world like a dark, impenetrable cloud. I leaned against the bridge, its cold stony rails pressed firmly against my cheek. I stared at the inky black waters underneath, the ripples humming gently into the darkness. The water swirled below, hiding a million secrets, calm on the outside, yet fiery deep down.

My tears had dried. There was nothing more to cry for, it was truly over. As I stared into the stony darkness, no words were necessary. I was strangely calm. I wondered what the water would feel like. “Not darker than this,” I thought to myself as I kicked away what seemed like a stray plastic bottle that the wind had carried my way. There was minimal fuss as I leaned over the rails and imagined the water engulfing me. The suffocation, the release. I was gasping for breath, and yet it seemed only right… and then…

Whirling in my own thoughts I hadn’t noticed the stranger standing just behind me, observing me with respectful curiosity. It was almost as though he had read every word I had thought. His deep blue eyes shone even in the darkness, and he gestured towards the water with a nod. We both stood in silence listening to its unending noise, deciphering, in our own unique ways the messages it carried.

I began climbing the rails, afraid the stranger would make me change my mind. He stood there, observing quietly, but the eyes. I could not ignore the eyes. They had sincerity, kindness, love and respect. The eyes spoke in the silence; the unspoken words were some of the most important words I had listened to in all my life. He pressed a hand firmly against my shoulder and I climbed down and together we walked along the tarmac somewhere into the darkness. Strangely enough, the sound of the water kept dwindling away and the sounds of life far away in the city became audible. Some lights in some far away windows, the sound of a car piercing the silence… beyond the bridge and the water, there was life. And it wasn’t time to go just yet. Not yet. And not like this. The stranger nodded, and I nodded back.

Make what you will about the opening of the article, but the stranger being right there when the end seemed imminent is anything but a metaphor. It is a manifestation of Divine Love, an emphatic reply from the One I had been writing to all through Process. The chance meeting with the stranger (the story actually has truth to it) feels more significant than all of Process, an important link without which it could all have gone very, very wrong.

I felt surrounded by His mercy, taken care of, understood, acknowledged by Him. Like my suffering or my patience had not been in vain and to Him, I was still worthy. With all my imperfections, mistakes and faux pas, I still mattered enough.

And before I sign off, Dear Reader, let me tell you that no matter how bad it gets, your inner struggles, your tears, your unsaid words, your story – I promise – everything matters and everything has a purpose. Be kind. To all those around you – but most of all – to yourself.

What Being Live Coached in front of 50 People Taught Me

What being live coached in front of 50 people taught me

Yesterday, I had the experience of being live coached by the wonderful Master Coach Ebru Goksu Yildirim in front of some 50 people or so. This was for the ICF Coachathon and coaches observed the session in order to learn the competencies of a great coach and to de-brief the session later.

I must admit, I was a bit nervous – coaching is all about confidentiality and it seemed counter intuitive to talk about what’s bothering me in front of a (virtual) room of strangers. But as confidentiality guidelines were reiterated and the session began, I found myself transported to another world. The world within.

My coach had my trust from the get-go, and I am going to point out some excellent practice as we move on. Whatever is under the ‘Note to Self’ topic (in bold) is essentially my learning, but you are welcome to read the entire piece. 

The coaching did not begin right then, in fact, Ebru had contacted me for a quick zoom a few days earlier and connected with me. She asked me not to reveal what I would talk about during our session, but the pre-coaching call was thoughtful and professional. She had my trust right there and then.

Note to Self: Building a coaching relationship in the right way from the get-go prevents problems later on.

Ebru designed alliance with me, took care of logistics and asked me if there was anything that I would like to design. I had already done so, and we began.

Throughout the session, Ebru was respectfully curious, kind, compassionate, and non-judgmental. I can’t point a finger to exactly what she said that gave me that impression, but it was the energy, the vibe that was landing on me. This made me open up and show up to the session in a vulnerable way.

Note to Self: The Client will always pick up on the energy you radiate. Also, people don’t always remember exactly what you said, but how you made them feel.

Ebru was gentle and soft-spoken. I noticed that she held back on her intuitions and allowed thoughtful pauses – an uncomfortable silence if you will – for both her and me. These pauses enabled me to deepen my thought-processes and gave the impression that she had ample time for me. I naturally began to dig deeper within myself as a result of those pauses. There were Aha moments and I knew she felt them. There was also me acknowledging the pain and she let me do so in silence.

Note to Self: The ability to hold back a comment and intentionally pause, and not blurt anything is extremely powerful and can deepen any thought process. Not just in coaching but in life in general.

My Coach was extremely keyed into every word I said, she did not need to take any notes at all. It seemed that she trusted herself to remember what needed to be remembered. I don’t believe she lost me for a second – Level 2 and 3 listening all the way! She was fully present and held the space for me and I can tell you, I felt seen, heard and acknowledged.

Note to Self: There are times you need to be fully present in the moment and breathe into it with your full being. Note-taking is not advisable at such moments. Being so keyed into the client naturally results in Level 2 and 3 listening.

My Coach made absolutely no assumptions whatsoever. Every time I described something (I had a lot of metaphors by the way) my Coach would, without any embellishment reiterate what I had said and say, this is what I hear. She wasn’t wrong even once. This respectful checking-in with the client constructed a beautiful session.

Note to Self: Never make assumptions. Always check in with the Client and say, this is what I see, I hear. If they disagree, don’t be attached to what you said and move on.

Another thing I noticed was that my Coach never offered any solutions. While Coaches do not offer solutions we are sometimes tempted to ask solution-focused questions which come from a place of ‘how can I serve my client in the best way’. Yesterday, however, I learnt that it is quite powerful to let things linger into an uncertain space for a bit. Ebru trusted me to lead the way, and she trusted the space would do wonders for me. It did. She did not direct the conversation towards a solution or show any discomfort that we weren’t reaching one. And guess what happened? I got exactly what I needed. It wasn’t a solution per se, but it felt right.

Note to Self: Coaches are not solution-providers. Coaches let you explore what needs attention and they trust you to take the gift from within.

A Coach’s body language is really important. Ebru mirrored me many times, but she did it in such a natural and unobvious way that I wouldn’t even have noticed it had I not been a coach myself. She also read my body language exceedingly well. Again that is the art of intuitive listening.

Note to Self: When mirroring the client, it has to be natural, not forced.

Ebru gently reminded me that we would close the session in a few minutes, a sort of mental queue to wrap up my thoughts.When closing Ebru thanked me and acknowledged my courage and vulnerability during the session. She also accepted my thanks and acknowledgement graciously.

Note to Self: Suddenly cutting off a session is neither classy, nor beneficial. Always give the Client a queue few minutes before the session is over. Thanking and acknowledging the Client is a no-brainer but the Coach must also accept the Client’s gratitude graciously.

Some other things I noticed about the session yesterday. I provided many metaphors to verbalize my thoughts and Ebru picked them and decided to use them actively in her coaching. This was a great idea because it made me feel valued. She also had some of her own metaphors and visualizations which were extremely effective.

Note to Self: Metaphors make life easy so have some that you can regularly call upon if needed. Also, Clients leave us little gifts like their own metaphors all the time. A great coach will pick these up and build the session on that.

To wrap it up, yesterday’s session was deep, meaningful and eye-opening, also calming and beautiful. I feel blessed and my heart is full of gratitude. Peace!

My story: that nagging fear of failure

I like getting older. I don’t like the effects on the body so much (lol) but I do like the poise, the pause and the … dare I say — wisdom that seems to come with it. I like the being happy in my own skin (even if it sags) and I like the feeling of being enough. Worthy, if you will.

I have always come across as a go getter, the first person who would raise their hand, the first person to volunteer— that kind of thing. What no one ever saw was that I have always been deeply afraid of doing things wrong. OF FAILING. Of not meeting my own impossibly high standards. Of looking dumb. Of being talked about in hushed whispers. Of being … gasp! Hated! Mocked.

As my life purpose gets more and more defined in my head, as the passion gets stronger and the longing gets more intense I’m realizing something very important. The sight of a bigger goal pales this fear that’s always followed me. I can finally see without wearing the fear-colored spectacles.

I’m learning to not judge myself so harshly. I’m more willing to experiment. More willing to take risks. For the first time in my life, I’m taking risks and I’m winning and I’m failing sometimes and I still like me. To me, this is a big deal. As long as my priorities are correctly aligned and as long as I’ve made an honest effort towards what truly matters to me I feel good. Good and enough. Alhamdulillah.

I made the following video to buck up myself and others who’ve not had the greatest day because failing at something only means you now know better. It does NOT make you a failure. It just shows you are living a full life full of risks, experiments and experiences.

Here’s saying an official goodbye to the fear of failure. Thanks buddy, but I’m done now.

‘Til next time … this is me signing off ♥️

Dad, balance and I; Four important things I learnt

If I could name just one person who had the greatest impression on my life it would have to be my father. His mannerisms, his love for art and literature, his style of conversation – even his likes and dislikes all left an indelible impact on me. My father often spoke of striking the perfect balance in life in an almost sacred way, as though it mattered deeply to him. Whenever he described beauty, he would say – so and so has such balanced features, and he often referred to balance as being harmonious and rhythmic. I grew up knowing this ‘balance’ thing was probably very special, but it never really hit home.

Enter Co-Active Training Institute with their Balance workshop during my training as a Coach. As with anything CTI I did not know what to expect but I knew one thing, it was going to pierce the fluff and bring to light what really matters. In short, I knew it would be a valuable experience.

The tools I learnt over the last three days offered a whole new insight into the word Balance.

To me, Balance was something I didn’t truly understand or resonate with. I’m a feisty, passionate woman; I’m emotional, I’m intense and I feel everything deeply. I can sense people’s energies exceptionally well, I have a lot of my own and experience every day of my life with a deep awareness. I’m fiercely loyal and with me there are no half-way commitments. Therefore, balance was something, that, if truth be told, seemed elusive to me. We’re all working towards self-development and Balance was always an area I felt that I would like achieve more of. (Please note, I am not looking for advice or judgment, I am who I am, and I’m thrilled about it).

Over the last three days, I learnt a few extremely important things.

  1. Life always has balance – we just have to see it.
    As we evaluate situations, experiences, places, relationships, we sometimes see only the side that feels comfortable to review. There’s always a silver lining in the heaviest of rain clouds, and there’s also always a cloud in the sunniest sky.

  2. There’s always a choice
    There was a time in my life – albeit short – that I chose to be a victim. This workshop reiterated the belief that the choice is always in my hands, in your hands. In every situation where we feel stuck, there are myriad options, and we must develop the insight to be able to see them clearly. We are the writers of our own story.

  3. Values we hold close keep showing up
    No matter what course I do, and no matter what activity or situation I’m in, some things keep showing up. As soon as I connect to myself, I realize my ‘whys’ are consistent. I realize the things that matter, matter all the time, everywhere and they keep showing up in some way, shape or form. I feel like it’s a sign to embrace and to live my values fully. And to realize that if I don’t, I will be doing a huge disservice to myself. I will crush my true essence.

  4. Balance is possible
    There was never any doubt in my mind that Balance was a beautiful thing to have in one’s life. And now I feel like I’m inching closer towards it, or perhaps I always embodied it in my own special way and just wasn’t aware. With the fire that’s inside of me – equally important is the pause. The silence of the night is as beautiful and essential as the chirping of the morning birds and the whir of the traffic… the recreation versus the serious, hard-core work, my failures versus my wins, the laughing versus the tears.

Suffice to say that the ups and downs of life are in a way perfectly balanced, all equally important and my heart is filled with gratitude as I bring a whole new awareness to new perspectives.

I’m saying YES to more BALANCE in my life.

And Papa, if you’re listening out there somewhere… I get it at last. You were right.

Balance is beauty.

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For my dear sisters who can’t pray or fast in the last ten nights of Ramadan!

For all the women out there who can’t pray or fast in these last ten nights and are feeling absolutely devastated, this is for you. From one sister to another. I hope this gives you motivation to bring out the very best in you even though you’re not praying. Please share this with someone who you think may need to hear this. This post has 3 parts, please watch them all! ❤